Allegedly Impending Death Part #4

Some time has passed by now, since I came up with an answer to the “why” question regarding the tumors that are threatening to kill me from within. Maybe two (2) months ago, my wife and I were unhappy with ourselves because of the way that we were using our time. We enjoyed our respective selves and each other a lot, but we wasted time on TV and such, even though we knew that God wants us to delight in Him, and for Himself to be our comfort when we get home at night. We shouldn’t long for beer or video games, book knowledge, or other idols to make our lives worth living. We live in a neighborhood full of heathens, some of whom come to our door, and we often couldn’t seem to be motivated to go out and share God’s love with them. We concluded that we didn’t love God, because if we did, we would be full of His Spirit and we would be unstoppable.

We prayed together and we asked God to do whatever was required to grow love for Him in us.

Now that these tumors have manifested themselves and been diagnosed as inoperable and unstoppable, we are relieved to know that we run to Jesus in hard times like these and wish to be identified with Him still.  Moreover, I have had some sweet and wonderful times in God’s presence.  Previously, I couldn’t get myself to apply myself to reading the Bible.  Last week (I think) I planned to read the Bible and then watch television.  What actually happened was that I became carried away by the Bible and read for 70 minutes and never got around to watching television!  Recently, I have found that I have an unusually large number of things to say during prayer times as well.

I remarked to Amber last week (I think) that if God were to take all of the tumors and cancer far away from my body, I would probably revert to my old ways.  I hoped out loud that God would come up with a way to keep me without killing me.  Amber told me that children would probably do the job.  So, if God heals my body and destroys the tumors within me, our plan is for me and Amber to become parents.

Amber and I have also been having a wonderful time praying for all of your requests and hearing your praises.  I had a wonderful time playing praises to Jesus on my mother’s bass guitar this past Monday.  Please continue to join us in praising God and asking Him to grant me a long and enjoyable life on the earth, during which things go well for me.


4 Responses to “Allegedly Impending Death Part #4”

  1. Elizabeth Bundy Says:

    We are continuing to pray with you and for you. Thank you for allowing God to use you. God is using you and God is being glorified in you. His name be praised

  2. Bernadette Pajer Says:

    Picture yourself floating on a boat in the middle of a lake. You’re going nowhere because you’ve run out of gas. The tank is bone dry. What do you do? You could use a cell phone and call for help. You could flag down another boat and ask for a tow. You could swim to shore and find some gas, or get out the paddles and paddle away. If you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, you’ll gratefully take any type of aid that comes your way, won’t you?

    There’s a story about a shipwrecked sailor bouncing around in a raft in the middle of the ocean. He keeps praying that God will send a miracle and save him. Soon a sea plane circles overhead, lands on the water, and taxis over to him offering help. “No thanks,” the old sailor shouts. “I’m waiting for God to help me.”

    A little while later a ship appears on the horizon, pulls alongside the raft, and begins to lower a ladder to the helpless man. The passengers onboard line the rail, excited to witness a spectacular rescue at sea. But their ears can hardly believe it, for again the old salt shouts, “No thanks. I’m waiting for God to help me!”

    Finally, a Coast Guard helicopter is summoned. But again the man waves off the rescuers, shouting, “I’m waiting for God to help me.” The man died waiting for help.

    As the story goes on, we find him at the gates of heaven, annoyed with God. “Why didn’t You send the help You promised?” he complains. “I did,” God replies. “I sent an airplane, a ship, and a helicopter. What more did you want?!”

    Stuck in the middle of nowhere the man neither recognized nor received the help God sent. Would anyone be so foolish?

    It happens all the time, dear friends. Not so much that people are floating helplessly on boats or rafts in the middle of nowhere – although that does happen. But it happens all the time in a spiritual sense – in matters of sin and salvation, death and life. God has provided the means to save all eternally, simple means, effective means. Yet people refuse it all the time, desiring something bigger and better. Incredible, but it happens; it happens whenever sinful man thinks his own opinion makes more sense than God’s plan.

    God’s plan of salvation goes through ordinary means, not the dramatic and spectacular, although His means are wonderful and miraculous. But people refuse His aid. It comes in the ordinary looking Jesus; it comes in the simple words of Scripture; it comes in the humble bread and wine of the Sacrament; and it comes in the plain water of Baptism. Don’t wait for God to send you something else. This is how He comes to help us in our need. Help is joyously given at

  3. Moira Bergman Says:

    Amber and Josh, I continue to hear your testimony in my heart and am so uplifted by it. I pray daily for you and consider what a miracle it would be and a testimony of how much Jesus hears us and loves us, if He were to heal your body of every tumor in it and give you the desires of your heart. Be encouraged that in how ever the future becomes, our Father has you in mind. He loves you more than you can know. Hugs, my friends. Moira Bergman ❤

  4. Delia Says:

    I am praying for you from NYC. May Jesus continue to fill you and your family with hope, love, and trust in Him.

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