Appearing to be Normal while Eating

I did a strange thing today. The strange thing that I did today was that I appeared to be a normal person during my lunch hour. I appeared to be a normal person during my lunch hour by eating formal food like normal people. You may think that normal people do not exist, but the people who make the salt container with the picture of the lady and the umbrella disagree with you.

My apparent normality was made possible by the writing of my dear sister, which is included below. Prior to reading that, please enjoy this picture of me appearing to be a normal person during my lunch hour.

Eating out

Veggie Burritos (Qdoba, Chipotle, Taco del Mar)

When you order the veggie burrito, make sure you say “no beans, no cheese” (possibly more than once). Other than that, you should get a flour tortilla with rice, lettuce, tomatoes (are considered “mild salsa” or “pico de gallo”) and guacamole if you wanted it. And sometimes there are grilled green peppers and onions that can go in as well.

Veggie sub/sandwich (Subway, Georgio’s, Panera)

You need to pick the sub (“I’ll have a veggie sub please”), then you pick the bread (ask for “Italian” or “white”), then you pick the size (6’’ or 12’’) and the kind of cheese (none (duh)). I like to have mine toasted with green peppers and onions and then other stuff added on when it comes out of the toaster, but you can have it anyway you want it (toasted or not—you have to ask if you want it toasted) with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, green peppers, olives, pickles etc… Pretty much the person making it will ask you what you want, and you just tell them as they are putting it together for you. At the end, you can get oil and vinegar (pretty much the 2 components that make Italian dressing, which I like), mustard (I usually get one stripe of spicy mustard—isn’t really that spicy, but it’s a good flavor), mayonnaise (I usually skip ‘cause I already have the oil and vinegar for moisture and flavor), salt, pepper, parmesan (cheese—no!) or oregano (a spice that’s fine, but I usually skip). The 6’’ veggie sub at Subway works out to be less than $3.50 ‘cause meat is expensive and you’re not having any.

Mexican Rice (Azteca, Tijuana’s, Ixtapa)

Self-explanatory. Doesn’t hurt to clarify/remind “no beans, no cheese” because some restaurants automatically add that to the rice or anything else they happen to be serving. You can also order a burrito—just tell them what you want, or find the veggie one on the menu and modify it to what you want, again “no beans, no cheese” or ask for extra rice to replace the beans. If the burrito comes with red sauce all over it, it’s okay. It’s not spicy, it’s some yummy totally legal tomato stuff that goes on burritos to make them “wet burritos”

Pasta and Marinara sauce (Olive Garden, California Pizza Kitchen)

Pasta is pasta. Angel hair, linguine, spaghetti, cappelini, penne, rotini. All of those are pasta, just in different shapes and sizes. There is almost always one of those (or something of the like) that comes with marinara sauce or pomodoro (read the description—if it has “meat” in the description, don’t order it). “Marinara” is universally (okay, maybe not quite that) known as “tomato pasta sauce with no meat”. Ask if it comes with cheese, or say “no parmesan” so they don’t bring it to you with cheese all over it.

Baked potato (Wendy’s)

Order the “Sour cream and chive baked potato”. The sour cream comes packaged separate from the potato. You can trade your sour cream back for some margarine, or just ask for margarine and throw the sour cream away.

Steak Fries and Salad (Red Robin)

I don’t know why they’re called steak fries. Maybe because they are so big. I don’t believe it’s more than $3 for a bottomless basket of fries. Maybe they aren’t called steak fries on the menu at Red Robin. I think they might not even be by themselves on the menu (apart from coming with burgers), but I was there last week and asked for either a basket of fries, or a side of fries, and they brought them to me, and when I finished them, they refilled them again. They also have a decent side/garden salad, but you have to ask for no cheese. I don’t care too much for their Italian dressing, but it’s better than eating no dressing at all. They put tortilla chip pieces on their salads, and I like that.


10 Responses to “Appearing to be Normal while Eating”

  1. Brian and Jocelyn Says:

    So, how did you like it? I’m trying stir-fry tonight. I am not a big fan of stir-fry, we have never made it at home, but we are planning on having it for dinner tonight… Lots of work you did on this blog– copy + paste + insert picture and caption. It’s more than I’ve been doing anyway 🙂

  2. Patso8 Says:

    This is a great blog Joshua… Very useful to those who should avoid the kinds of food you avoid, I really liked it. It was helpful for no other reason, but to be helpful.

  3. Virgie P. Says:

    This is great! Now we know where to eat out with you other than Red Robin. If you ever come to Pasadena, I think there’s a vegan restaurant nearby, too. Seems like a vegan restaurant would have some things you could eat.

  4. Brandon Says:

    Fantastic. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I will not be obeying any of these suggestions (yet) because I believe protein sources are evidence that God loves me and wants me to be happy.

  5. Jenne Says:

    Joshua, I wish I’d read this before we tried to feed you baked potatoes with bean chilli! 🙂

    Tom and I have been discussing, and we think you need to branch out and eat a greater variety of veggies. That’s just our opinion though. But maybe you should try water chestnuts (not actually nuts) and Leeks next time you do stir fry (in addition to your other stuff).

    Also, you should eat more Avacado. Just because they are delicious (as long as they are ripe and not over-ripe, let me know if you need tips on this) and now you know how to prepare one.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Happened to google Acts 29 churches and Port Angeles / Sequim area and noticed you had an old post about someone looking into planting such a church in Sequim

    Any more information on that? I tried to email you but so far it didn’t reach you, got bounced back.

    We’re in Port Angeles.

    • Minda Says:

      Anon- are you still interested in being in an A29 church? My husband and I are also in PA, we are trying to find others who would be willing to start a core group.

  7. Joshua Says:

    Unfortunately, it managed to not get off of the ground. I am sorry about that. The closest thing that I can think of is a Seaside Church community group that is to be starting out in Kingston soon (I think).

    I’ll ask around to make sure that there aren’t any community groups in Sequim any more.

  8. joshpaw Says:

    JOshua horky,

    sweet post dude, I love food too. And I love the pic of you eating subway. Of course you remember I used to work at subway. Veggie sandwiches are good, I suppose if you can’t have meat. I picked up on little things too of course like having to ask to have it toasted…. let me know how you are doing man!


  9. Anonymous Says:

    Thanks for the prompt answer about the Acts 29 church in Sequim.

    We were just curious and will keep an eye out for anything like that around Port Angeles. There is a newer “mission” church in Port Angeles with very “Reformed” distinctives (from the Orthodox Presbyterian Church). We haven’t been there (yet) because we’re sorting out past “denominational” issues personally, but I would commend the OPC for its long Biblical faithfulness. May the Acts 29 church plants always recognize that there is a lot of “wisdom” to be gleaned from C.J. Mahaney or other “elder” elders. Glad to see Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill (Seattle) publicly comment on that.

    Let us know if you hear anything about renewed efforts in Sequim. Best wishes to you from Port Angeles!

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