Helmsman Strategies

I typed most of this entry several days ago and hesitated to publish it because it sort of assumes that I know things about driving that other people do not know, but Chris from Seaside told me this morning that he thought that I should publish it, so here it is.

Although my driving has a number of critics (e.g. Josh from the UCBin Pullman, Pat from Seaside Church, Chris from Seaside), I have been informed that I have had the benefit of a superior driver’s education class (i.e. superior to the driver’s education classes of those complimenting mine). For this reason, I would like to share several driving tips with you:

  1. When driving at night, avoid directly into headlights which are attached to cars which are traveling toward you. Instead look directly at the white line to your right. Try to keep your car just to the left of it. Of course, if you are tailgating the car which is in front of you, be sure to pay attention to its brake lights too. Oh, and watch out for traffic control signals and signs.
  2. When waiting at the front of a queue in a left had turn lane, keep the all the wheels and tires of your car pointing straight ahead of you. Restrain yourself so that you do not point the steering wheels to the left until after you have already driven the car into the intersection. This increases the distance between your path and the car parked in the left hand (or left foot, for that matter) turn lane of the street you wish to enter. This can also keep you out of the path of the oncoming traffic to your left if you are rear ended.
  3. If your car is covered with snow or ice, be sure to clean this ice and snow off of the transparent surfaces so that you do not become the next lazy, yet destructive person to smash into a pedestrian because he was unable to see out his car window.

Of course, this leads to the following obvious question: Where is your favorite speed bump, and what makes your favorite speed bump your favorite speed bump?

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One Response to “Helmsman Strategies”

  1. Patso8 Says:

    Like many things in life, the chasm between academia and practical application is staggering…I only know because I’ve strapped myself to the “death projectile” that is Joshua’s car.

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